Raising Resilient Children : Fostering Strength, Hope, and Optimism in Your Child

Summary

Child psychologists Robert Brooks and Sam Goldstein are too humble to promise a "sure bet" method for fostering resilience in all children, but their book Raising Resilient Children certainly does an impressive job of upping the ante. The authors open their comprehensive study with two bold questions: Why do many parents insist on pointing out their child's weaknesses and try--in vain--to mend these, when harnessing the child's strengths bolsters self-esteem? And how can parents change their erring ways to help these kids become thoughtful, confident adults? Their answer is a wisely crafted set of 10 essential parenting behaviors ("guideposts")--a prescription of sorts, for nurturing resilience in kids. Ironically, it's the parents who may reap the greatest rewards from putting these guideposts to work.

Drawing heavily from 50 years of combined clinical practice, Brooks and Goldstein conclude that a child's resilience grows its deepest roots in the home, nurtured by parents who incorporate healthy doses of empathy, practical optimism, respect, unconditional love, keen listening skills, and the patience to administer these values every day. Sounds logical, but the gap between knowledge and action is deceptively wide. The authors knowingly share a caseload of tales from their own clients' histories--familiar scenarios of well-meaning parents who say and do counterproductive things. But they also present a treasury of suggestions for righting the wrongs, including detailed steps for rewriting negative parenting scripts, teaching and modeling empathy, and creating opportunities for kids to act responsibly and compassionately. This timely, insightful book will prove an effective tool for parents who are willing to scrutinize--and improve upon--their own resilience. --Liane Thomas