No More Words : A Journal of My Mother, Anne Morrow Lindbergh
Selected Book Details
- Paperback
- Author: Reeve Lindbergh
- Publisher: Simon & Schuster
- Release Date: October 2002
- ISBN-10: 0743203143
- ISBN-13: 9780743203142
- List Price: $12.00
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Summaries and Customer Reviews provided by Amazon
SummaryHer daughter's tender account of Anne Morrow Lindbergh's final 22 months is a fitting epitaph for an author who revealed her inner life with an honesty and sensitivity that have inspired generations of readers since Gift from the Sea was first published in 1955. This new volume also makes a fine companion for Under a Wing, Reeve Lindbergh's previous memoir about her parents' complex marriage and her own struggle to grapple with the legacy of her famous father, Charles Lindbergh. Yet it's not necessary to know anything about Anne's writing or Charles's exploits as an aviator to be moved by No More Words, which chronicles a day-to-day drama of worry, guilt, anger, and unexpected joy that will be familiar to anyone who has cared for an elderly, ailing parent. Drawing on a diary she kept from the time her mother came to live with her in May 1999 until Anne's death at age 94 in February 2001, Reeve Lindbergh deals first and foremost with her shock that her literate, articulate mother no longer had much use for words. "From the beginning of my life," she writes, "everything I understood was made plain to me in her language.... at each moment of my need she spoke the words I needed." But after a series of strokes, Anne spoke less and less, and not everything she said made sense. Reeve had to find meaning for herself; she had to accept her mother's increasing remoteness and take pleasure from the moments when Anne seemed to come back to her. She traces that process in spare, eloquent prose complemented by excerpts from her mother's works: "It was very important to me that her writing voice, too, should be heard," Reeve states. "The truth about this book is that it is not mine but ours." --Wendy Smith |
Customer Reviews
Average Rating: 
From No Stars to Five Stars
Rating:
I had read Reeve Lindbergh's Under a Wing, a lovely memoir about her famous family, so I probably would have read this book, too. But it was the title that drew me: No More Words. That was where my father was headed--to both his and my frustration--when I heard about this book.
My father's problem was Alzheimer's. In Anne Morrow Lindbergh's case it was a series of strokes--but how similar the outcome, as both elderly people, near the end of their lives, sat most of the day in silence. Words had been my father's life: he was an editor and writer. Anne Lindbergh was famous for her books, which had touched millions of people. (When I was thirteen, the year Gift From the Sea was published, my mother slipped a copy onto my bedside table.)
Out of her near-silence, Anne Lindbergh makes a cryptic comment about her daughter's latest book, "No stars," she says. Only two words, but Reeve is upset. "I start thinking very fast, and the thinking is childish and irrational: she does not talk to me anymore because she no longer loves me. I know it isn't exactly true or is irrelevant--she doesn't need to love, she needs to be loved just now--but the thought speeds into my mind, and before I can protest, it turns into another one: she is not talking to me because I am not worth talking to."
Reeve Lindbergh stands out, here and in many other passages in this perceptive book, in the frankness of her reactions. Also, in her ruminations that follow. After this incident, she quotes the head of the caregiving team that looks after her mother. The silence of an old person, the woman has suggested to Reeve, "drives us crazy because we all long to be `confirmed,' and this silence, so common to the old with their diminished health and strength and declining interest in conversation, is the ultimate lack of confirmation. It is the most difficult aspect of caregiving, and the chief reason that caregivers "burn out" over time."
Gracefully written, in a seemingly effortless prose, this book has much to say about memory, the elderly, and the devastation of losing one's language.
No More Words
Rating:
"No More Words" is a poignant and touching story of a daughter and her love for her mother. Reeve Lindbergh, the daughter of Ann Morrow Lindbergh portrays the last seventeen months of her mother's life written in a journalistic style and used many excerpts from her mother's books. This touching story portrays Reeve's love for her mother, as she shows the joys and sadness of spending precious time with her before her passing. These months, chronicled by Reeve shows how difficult it is to watch a loved one die. Ann's tenacity kept her alive beyond anyone's expectations and Reeve was fortunate to spend precious time with her, sharing thoughts, dreams and confidences. Though there were times when Ann could not speak due to the many strokes she had suffered, the two were able to communicate beyond words.
Ann was able to remain in at home with caregivers attending to her around the clock. Those caregivers were loving and patient, and had their own special relationship with her, each one have intense respect, tenderness and love for her. The way Reeve describes these caregivers brings a tear to the reader's eye and shows how blessed Ann was to have these gentle and caring people to aid her through her last months. Reeve's account also portrays the Lindbergh's as a loving and caring family who have not been "harmed" by their celebrity. Each sibling with their own separateness held great love for their mother shown in many ways.
The most touching aspect of this book is the love Reeve held for her mother. Though Ann was more often silent or unable to respond verbally to Reeve, the two shared an unspoken bond no one could break. This is a must read for anyone facing or who has faced the death of a loved one, for it offers comfort and consolation. It shows death need not be a fearful or heartrending experience, but a natural part of life.
Having an elderly mother whom I love dearly, this account made me realize that one cannot hang on to a loved one forever, but shows that even when the loved one is gone, their spirit and love lives on, and our bond with them can never be broken. It is truly a "feel good" tale.
A must read for caregivers or those with aging parents
Rating:
Reeve surely has Ann's gene for writing. This book should be read by all who still have parents alive and will be faced with their eventual death and by those who have already lost a loved one. Alzheimers and dimentia are a death before dying. It is hardest on those left behind and gilt and worry are only some of the emotions one has to deal with during the dying process. Reeve caught the essence of her mother and was fortunate to be able to have 24/7 caregivers to help her through this ordeal.
This book is a tribute to Ann and to Reeve's Sister.
An open account of a private and confusing time
Rating:
This is a touching memoir of the time when Reeve Lindbergh was helping to take care of her aging mother, the famous Anne Morrow Lindbergh in the last year(s) of her life. This book is a look inside the private lives of a very well known family during a difficult transition in their lives.
The story is about how Reeve is trying to make sense of this time. It contains her thoughts and reflections and fears about the change in her mother's condition. I appreciate the honesty in which this book is written, I feel like the author held nothing back in relating her story. I was surprised and delighted at the openness of it. She wrote about things in dealing with this situation that people think, but would rarely admit to.
I found this book to be very comforting, as I recently experienced a similar situation in my own family. There were so many times, as I read this, I was shaking my head thinking....I know exactly what you're saying. Throughout the ordeal, there are sad times, but there were also light and funny times as well. Dealing with the aging and decline of a loved one that you have known so well all of your life is difficult. They change, and when it happens, we don't always know how to deal with it or what to think, and we wonder what they are thinking. It's hard and it's confusing when you are trying to guess at what is going on in their world. Reeve writes beautifully about it all.
I had not picked this book with the intention of experiencing what I did...the comfort of reading about someone else going through a similar situation as me. I initially picked this book because I love Anne Morrow Lindbergh's book 'Gift of the Sea' and I wanted to read more about her life. Once again, as I am a firm believer of...the right books come along at just the precise moment that we need them and so often they come in an unexpected way as this one did for me.
A remarkabley Evocative Memoir
Rating:
Reeve Lindberg has succeeded in giving us a marvelous journey through the last two years of her mother's life. It is also a very helpful description of what it is to deal with someone who is deep in the fog of an Alzheimer's like state. I plan to give copies to many of my friends, most especially those with elderly parents. Reeve's language is lovely and crisp in the strokes of its portraits. It is easy to see she that is her mother's daughter. I am so happy to have discovered this book and I would recommend it to anyone who is seeing or will see an elderly parent or friend through his or her last days and months. Tasha Halpert
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